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Post by Micky Havens on May 27, 2008 20:39:59 GMT 1
Micky didn’t know what to do anymore. Nothing was no longer set in stone as it once had been, or at least as Micky had thought it was. She should have just killed Thorn, and then it would be over and done with. Things could have returned to the way they were before. But as much as Micky knew this when she had fought with Thorn, she still couldn’t do it.
She was so confused, torn within herself, that slowly she found herself losing grip on everything. She could no longer differentiate between up and down. It felt like she was just standing still and the world was moving around her, out of her control. And she hated that feeling with a deep passion, but at the same time felt that there was nothing she could do about it.
Micky stood outside what used to be her home. She deeply missed the time when it was such, but she had made the choice. She had decided that she couldn’t stay with Willow after what had happened, that she needed time. She was the one who decided that it would be best if she left. Now she regretted the choice, but regardless it still seemed out of her control.
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Post by Willow Rosenberg on May 28, 2008 1:17:42 GMT 1
When had everything slipped so far out of control? Was the main thought spinning around in circles in Willow's head, making her dizzy. Everything was messed up, so messed up that Willow, who was a mathematical wizz, couldnt even figure it out. In one fatal night, she had lost everything. Well everything to her was only Micky. God just thinking about her made Willow feel so guilty. She knew it was her fault, of course it was. It always was.
And to make matters worse she had gone and got herself nearly killed when trying to fight Buffy in the Headquaters. She had been so stupid, but she knew that she couldnt have just let Buffy kill Xander and Dawn, and not to metion the hundreds of slayers at the Headquarters. But none of that mattered, Willow had failed. Even her amount of power was nothing compaired to Buffy's strength, speed and power.
Sitting on her bed, her body still incredibly bashed and cut in several places, thinking. She had been doing alot of that lately, hadnt the strength to do anything else. She had been like this for awhile, after all she was still human, and the pain that she felt was welcomed. She didnt want to heal herself, one being that she didnt have the energy to do even the simplist of spells, and two being that she didnt want to hide the fact that she had almost died, again. Wanted to show herself how stupid she was.
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Post by Micky Havens on May 29, 2008 19:49:16 GMT 1
Don’t do this… The words repeated in Micky’s mind as she pushed open the door to her…no it was only Willow’s now…Willow’s home. She shouldn’t even be here. She had no right. But even with the knowledge and the repeated words in her head, she couldn’t stop herself. Maybe Willow wasn’t even home, but she was pretty sure that it wasn’t true. She knew Willow, and was pretty sure that she would be here. She should just turn around while it was still possible.
It wasn’t. Micky continued inside the house, gently shutting the door behind here. So there was no site of Willow yet…she was probably upstairs. God, Micky didn’t know if she could face her. Part of her still blamed Willow for what happened, part of her blamed Thorn, but now…the greatest part of all blamed herself.
There was so many things she should have done. She should have been there for Willow when she was needed, then Willow would have never turned away. She should have been there when the Council was destroyed and Buffy died. She shouldn’t have left Willow even after that night when she found Thorn biting down on her neck. She should have killed Thorn when she had the chance. This was her fault as much as it was anyone else’s.
Micky felt a wetness on her cheek before she even realized she had started crying silently. She hated crying, hated the way it made her feel so exposed and week. She tried to stop the tears from falling, but they wouldn’t listen to her.
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Post by Willow Rosenberg on Jun 15, 2008 10:28:33 GMT 1
"Well just sitting here isnt going to make things better.." Willow spoke to herself, after all there wasnt anyone else here anymore. No-one to keep her warm at night or to spend time with. She missed Mickey so much it hurt. She needed her in her life and she knew she couldnt bare to live without her anymore. Slowly she aroze from the bed, cringing slightly as she did so, her ribs clicking slightly agaisnt each other.
She knew that she shouldnt have used so much of her power, knowing how dangerous it would be to use the magic when running low on energy. But it was true, she couldnt just let Buffy kill all those people. Never, it was just her way. But all her trouble didnt even make a difference, she was beaten and Buffy probaly went and killed them all anyway. And that hurt Willow to think that. Those slayers were her friends, comrades.
Walking slowly down the stairs, holding onto the rails to support herself she stopped in her tracks, seeing Mickey there. What was she doing here? Willow thought to herself though in the best way. "Mickey...?" Willow asked, taking one more step down the stairs, holding the rail with on hand and her ribs with the other.
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Post by Micky Havens on Jun 16, 2008 18:06:39 GMT 1
Micky couldn’t move, especially now that Willow was standing in front of her. All she could do was bring her eyes to meet the girl’s and simply standing there. She prayed that somehow she would find the strength to move her legs. Unfortunately, the strength never came. “You’re hurt…” The words surprised her the moment they left her mouth. Surely speech shouldn’t come to her at a time like this.
Despite her lack of current strength, Micky couldn’t help but be angered at whoever or whatever it was that hurt Willow. Her love towards Willow was still deep within her, even though she had made the decision to leave. Of course she regretted it now. She wanted so badly to be back home, to be back in Willow’s arms.
However, Micky was just so confused. She loved Willow, truly and deeply, but at the same time she felt these intense feelings towards Thorn, feelings that she shouldn’t be feeling. Thorn was a vampire first of all, and further more she was the one who had caused the rift between Micky and Willow in the first place. It was strange though, that Micky couldn’t blame her, not anymore. She felt that all three of them were to blame, mainly her. Some how, she always seemed to process things such that it was her fault.
All of this was her fault.
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Post by Willow Rosenberg on Jun 17, 2008 8:26:34 GMT 1
Willow let her eyes search Mickey's, intaking all the emotion that was coming out of them. Flashes of anger, love and confusion were spread in Micky, Willow could feel it in waves. Though she didnt know if it was a good thing or a bad thing yet. It made Willow relax slightly, even when she didnt know she was tense when she heard words seep from the other girls lips. But they were ones that Willow didnt really want to here. She wanted to put this whole Buffy thing behind her.
Willow nodded her head though. Even if she wanted this all to go away, when she thought of it, it still made her feel weak and helpless. How Buffy could just knock her out with one blow. Willow was ment to be this almighty power goddess, but in times like this she was what she was. A young woman who struggles with issues beyond her understanding. Willow was so wrapped up in her thoughts, thoughts that she knew would get her upset, she didnt even relise that tears had begun to roll down her cheeks staining them with failure.
Even though Micky didnt know anything about the fight, Willow couldnt hold it back any longer. She hadnt cried since it happened, but with Micky back it made it alot harder to keep her emotions on track and stable. "I was so weak..I couldnt stop her, I tried...I let her kill the slayers..I tried so hard to stop her..I was powerless against her...against everybody.." Willow sobbed, feeling more tears stream down her face now that she was finally letting it all go.
It had been so long since she had let go, wanting to try and hold it in for herself, to keep herself sane. But it was too late to turn back.
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Post by Micky Havens on Jun 17, 2008 23:05:13 GMT 1
When Micky saw the tears fall down Willow’s face, her heart felt like it was ripped in two. Almost instantly she was at Willow’s side, but once she was there, she grew hesitant. She didn’t know if Willow would accept her offer of comfort. Seeing Willow cry brought out feelings in her that she knew were there, but as of late seemed to be missing. Slowly she stretched out her hand and placed it on Willow’s shoulder, a simple gesture that seemed to be the best she could do.
The words that she was hearing were only confusing Micky. She hadn’t known that slayers were being killed off, not just because of her disdain towards them but because of the fact that since she had left Willow, she consequently left the Council as well. Micky had been a part of the Council simply because Willow was, and when she left that all ended.
And who was the girl that Willow was talking about? Who was killing slayers? More importantly, who did this to Willow? Micky had never seen Willow break down and cry like this before. “Who did this?” she whispered, although it probably wasn’t the best idea seeing as Willow was so affected by this already and talking would only make things worse. Something big had happened, and now she was involved whether she liked it or not. She seemed to be getting involved in a lot of things lately, opposite to how things had been just a few weeks ago when she was on her own and everything seemed to be quiet.
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Post by Willow Rosenberg on Jun 18, 2008 5:23:45 GMT 1
The feeling of Micky's hand placed softly on her shoulder made Willow feel at home. It was odd how a simple guesture could change everything. Leaning into the touch a little, wanting to keep the contact for as long as possible she continued to cry. Everything had happened so fast, to fast for Willow to really remember what happened. But all she did remember was who had done this and why she was doing it. Willow would have never guessed that she would do it, no matter how angry or depressed she may have been, it just wasnt like her. And afer the fight Willow didnt believe it was her.
"Buffy" Willow stated softly, her tone of voice was mixed between upset and anger. The memories of Buffy that Willow had tried to bury with Buffy were brought up in that fight and messed with her head. Maybe that was why she had lost. Fighting against your best friend would probaly do that. But it still hurt her. The vulgar things that seeped out of the slayers mouth hurt her alot. Hit her right in the heart. Maybe that was why I became powerless? Willow thought ti herself.
Did I become powerless because of the feelings I have for her?
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Post by Micky Havens on Jun 22, 2008 6:11:50 GMT 1
Micky was shocked to say the least. The last she had known, Buffy had been dead, killed when the army launched the attack on the Council. That had been a while ago, but as far as she knew, people stayed dead when killed by anything but a vampire, even slayers. But apparently the slayer was back, and now she had attacked Willow. The two were supposed to be such great friends, so hearing the word uttered from Willow’s mouth was more than confusing.
But now really wasn’t the time to ask too many questions, and she had no intentions of doing so. Perhaps the most alarming part of what Willow told her, besides the whole betrayal aspect and the pain that Willow as going through, was the fact that Micky had been that absent not to see what was happening. There might have been something she could have done to stop this, but she wasn’t there and now it was too late to know.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice practically a whisper. She was sorry for everything, from Buffy’s betrayal to her own. Words couldn’t express how bad she felt, but they were the best she could do.
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Post by Willow Rosenberg on Jun 22, 2008 6:27:45 GMT 1
Hey eyes searched Micky's once again and she lowered her head and it nodded in a slow bouncing manner. She was sure that Micky was sorry, alot of people were, but Willow knew that Micky really ment it, not like the others. They were only doing it to give her fake sympathy, she knew that. She wasnt stupid. But Micky was different, she had always been different and that was what Willow loved about her. That she never gave off fake feelings, well that Willow knew of anyways. Willow struggling to reach up and hold Micky's hand, but she did. She had too. Micky was the one that had given her the strentgh to keep going.
"I miss you" The words just seemed to slip out, Willow unable to keep them in her mouth. They had been playing on her lips ever since she saw the girl at the door the last time. She just couldnt keep them in, it was getting too hard to do it. The house was alot quieter and alot more stale since Micky left, maybe it was the fact that Micky had been the one to make Willow happy, and everything was effected in Willows life when she walked out of the door. Her head raised up and tried to figure out Micky's reaction.
Willow didnt want to push the girl away if she wasnt ready to come home, but she just couldnt let her keep leaving like this. Then she might just loose her forever and Willow knew that she couldnt be able to live with that.
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