Xander Harris
w a t c h e r
scooby member
Can I have you? Duh... Can I help you?
Posts: 63
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Post by Xander Harris on May 7, 2009 7:38:01 GMT 1
Xander couldn't help but just smile at the slayer as she spoke. He found her love life story really amusing and couldn't help himself from laughing a few times as she told it. "Really? Well, little Snow White we are on the same boat. Did I ever tell you that the great and almighty evil Angelous cowarded and ran away crying from me after calling me Buffy's White Knight." Xander started to smile "Luckily he did, because our hero was really close to pissing himself." Xander couldn't help but chuckle at the memory of it.
Xander listened to her reaction to his summarized life story. "Well, it's not the whole story. You look like a person who is right to the point. I didn't want to bore you with the whole nine yards. We would be here for days with all the messed up things the old Scooby Gang went through." (Most embarrassing moment while slaying? Dam there is a lot, I think I got numero one.) Xander thought.
"Phoenix, your looking at the face of embarrassing moments not just while slaying, but just at life. I have so many, I don't know what one to amuse you with." he joked with sarcasm. "Okay, this one might top it, even though I don't slay anything and no vampires are involved something far worse." He shook his head at the thought."It was a couple of months into my sophomore year at Sunnydale high and we just met Buffy a few months before. In our Biology class our teacher went missing and was replaced by this total fox of a teacher named Ms. French." Xander continued to smile and shake his head."So, me being the hormone driven sixteen year old takes the offer she offers me to personally tutor me at her home. The great and horny Xander Harris thought this was going to lead to sex and spankings by hot older women that was a teacher, which indeed turned me on a lot." Xander gave Phoenix a dead serious look. "Phoenix, what I'm about to tell you might be the most disgusting thing you have ever heard. So, I go to her house, we drink some wine. Whole and behold! There is roofies in the wine! Big fucking surprise Xander! I wake up in a cage half naked with another guy which happened to be on the football team and he was crying and screaming about something coming to have sex with us and then chopping out heads off. Next thing I know Ms. French comes down stairs and turns into a giant Praying Mantis! Yes a giant bug! With claws! I guess her game plan was to have sex with me for I can fertilize her dam eggs and then what all female Praying Mantises due after they mate!.. They bite the head off their mate, and put the eggs in their carcass. So, just when the giant bug is about to get down and dirty on the Xan-Man, Buffy and the gang shows up and slay the giant bug before she can have her way with me." Xander sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "That was how I almost lost my virginity for the first time, to a giant bug, I think it's kind of romantic in a way. Who wouldn't want to loose it to a big beautiful Praying Mantis? I think that qualifies for embarrassing and even degrading." Xander finished and laughed a little bit at the memory.
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Phoenix Lange
s l a y e r
Can we get past your evil plan and just fight now? Your kind of boring
Posts: 53
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Post by Phoenix Lange on May 7, 2009 17:45:28 GMT 1
Phoenix raised an eyebrow “I thought he was like all…” She made a or tried to make a really scary face “And not afraid of anyone.”She laughed as Xander said the next thing. No it didn’t make her laugh it made her giggle. “And that’s never good.” She said softly. She could really see Angel or Angel without a soul running away. He seemed the type.
As he commented on her look of wanting to get to the point she rolled her eyes ”Nah…I like the long meaning full stories.” which was true. When she heard his story and the ending she stopped moving and looked at him “There are giant bugs out there? And one of them tired to mate and kill you?” She knew there where odd thing out there but honestly come on Giant Bugs? “ And I thought me falling into a dug up grave and landing on two vamps getting it on was bad.” She said as they kept walking. Shuddering again she looked over at him “Well at least your giant bug was hot before she turned into a bug.’
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Xander Harris
w a t c h e r
scooby member
Can I have you? Duh... Can I help you?
Posts: 63
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Post by Xander Harris on May 7, 2009 18:31:58 GMT 1
Xander chuckled at the Angel face she attempted to make. "He's overrated he knows he is no match for the mighty will of Xander "The Boss Man" Harris. (What the hell is that? Where did you stupid ass think of that, go watch some more wrestling you loser.) Xander thought to himself and laughed. "Don't laugh at the really corny nickname I just gave to me myself, I can't help I'm a dweeb sometimes." He hesitated and smiled. "Okay all the time."
Xander couldn't help but laugh about her surprised but intrigued reaction. "Yes apparently there are giant bugs, along with fish people, robots possessed by demons, demon hunters trapped in puppets, evil mayors who turn into giant snakes, reptile boys, soul sucking Inca Mummy Princess's, Hyenas who posses people's bodies, crazy army cyborgs, and that's just the beginning." Xander couldn't help but laugh as he sighed. (Dam, before you know it, your going to be wearing a tweed and cleaning your glasses all the time.) Xander thought to himself
"Yeah... she was a fox. Keyword was." Xander paused and looked at with a funny and disgusted look. "Eww... did you slay them when they were doing it, or did you wait for them to finish their business." Xander joked. "Because it would be rather rude and harsh to dust the poor horny vampires while they are making whoopy." Xander cracked another smile while he tried to sound like little kid. "So that's all you got for me? Weak... I thought you would have had something better then just falling on some horny vampires. I could name ten stories about messing with Spike better then that." he pretended to be mad, just to see her reaction.
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Phoenix Lange
s l a y e r
Can we get past your evil plan and just fight now? Your kind of boring
Posts: 53
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Post by Phoenix Lange on May 7, 2009 18:54:28 GMT 1
Phoenix looked at him “It’s odd but from all the stories I’ve heard of him…I’ve wanted to go out steal his hair gel sell it and then just smack him and tell him to get over the brooding. But maybe that is just me.” In all honesty Phoenix did not like Angel. She even had told her former watcher that once. Boy had she paid for that. 14 hours of working out and being told he was the only reason the human race had lived for so long. *Right after he turned even and tried to kill everyone. She laughed slightly at his nickname for himself ”Better than the one I had for myself after I dust three vamps…I called myself Phoenix Warrior princess….i scar all and fear nothing but the tiny bugs.”
Her eyes got a bit to big when he talked about just a few other the things he had seen. ”Maybe I’m not in the right job…you know teacher sound great for me…lie to me if you have to giant evil worms? Tell me you haven’t seen any.” She may have been a slayer who hated the world and stuff but still she had her fears. Worms, bugs, and dying where on the top of that list as well. She shuddered at the thought and tried to shake the thought out of her head.
Phoenix laughed at his look “Sadly…they felt me fall on top of them…this was when I was a newbie to all of this mind you.” she looked at him ”They held me down talked about how killing and feeding on a slayer would make their ‘love making’ yes they said love making more enjoyable. I gagged dusted them…then ran home and showered for 3 hours.” She thought for a moment. “Well there was this time….no never mind…not sharing that…it shames all and every slayer there is…even the watchers as well.”
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Xander Harris
w a t c h e r
scooby member
Can I have you? Duh... Can I help you?
Posts: 63
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Post by Xander Harris on May 8, 2009 11:50:21 GMT 1
Xander couldn't help but have a big smirk on his face while she bashed his not so favorite soul boy. Xander didn't like neither of the soul boys he thought. Which one did he like more? He didn't have time to think if he liked Spike or Angel better. He decided he didn't like both of them equally.
Xander started to crack up over her Xena nickname. "Wow, I thought I was the almighty when it came to making up cheesy nicknames. I get all the good ones from people who are pissed at me or want to kill me. For example Buffy's White Knight, Angelus gave me, I told you about already. My ex girlfriend called me the Zeppo after I got caught cheating on her with my best friend." Xander saw the expression on her face and put his hands up. "It's not that bad, I had a reason we thought we were going to die, but no we had to get saved by our other halves. The newest one I got from Caleb before he gauged my eye out, "He called me the one that sees everything." Xander shook his at the memory.
(She's going to need to get that teacher job then.) Xander thought as she mention giant worms. "Yeah about that, I think you have to start looking for that teaching job. I almost dated this girl who's ex boyfriend was a giant worm. He tried to eat out hero Xander for trying to date his ex, but my ex girl friend who was a vengeance demon killed him." Xander just smiled as her face turned green. "Your in luck though he was the last of his kind, but you never know anymore, anything can happen." Xander than began to think about Anya and his mood dampened.
His mood changed again as he listened to her awkward vampire sex story. "That is disgusting, I probably would have not have left my shower for a few months." Xander gave her a look like someone just killed his puppy. "Oh come on! It can't be as bad as the praying mantis trying to mate with me then kill me, you have to tell me. Please." Xander gave her his puppy dog eyes. "Please..."
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Phoenix Lange
s l a y e r
Can we get past your evil plan and just fight now? Your kind of boring
Posts: 53
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Post by Phoenix Lange on May 8, 2009 18:49:22 GMT 1
“Right…so using that excuse when someone saves me and they catch me in a lip lock.’’ she smirked slightly at the other nicknames he mentioned. She raised an eyebrow at the name Caleb. She hadn’t heard of him. She made a face slightly. Had she really been out of the loop for that long? She frowned slight. God she needed to get some new information in her head before she got someone killed or worse.
Phoenix shuddered at the giant worm story. Great going to have to face giant worms now…Yay fun for me…Random da…. her thoughts stopped when she saw his face. She knew that face all to well. She had seen it far too much while she was in the army and a slayer. The face of pain. She frowned slightly and shook her head. She wanted to say something but she didn’t know what to say. What could she say? Nothing ever made that kind of pain go away. And people wonder why I hate what the world has become. To many good people get hurt because of the evil out there… She was lost in thought now. Never a good thing for the lone Slayer.
She had to keep from laughing though when she heard him beg to hear the story. She looked at him and suddenly wish she hadn’t. ”Damn puppy eyes…I’m the slayer…I kill things with my pinky and I cant say no to a puppy face…fine…but if you laugh I’ll feed you to the scariest monster out here.’’ She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair and thought for a moment. “Alright. It was my first week as a slayer. By that time I thought I saw it all. The demons, the vampires, the werewolves, ect. But no. I guess the powers at be wanted to have some fun with newbie Phoenix warrior princess.” She stopped for a moment and rolled her eyes. Had she really just used her nickname in that. She honestly needed to work on that. ”So I’m doing my normal things. Trying to get a few evil things out so I can fight, kill, go home, shower, watch some bad movies, and Eat junk food. I start singing and being as bored as I was you’d understand why. While I sing I start dancing. So I got this whole musical number going. Not paying any mind to the things around me. Which in slayer 101 they say kept eyes open and don’t get distracted. Anyway. I’m not paying any mind. I bump into this very hot guy. Like he makes…the lead singer of Three Days Grace look like….like ugly. So I’m like drooling and flirting and cant talk what so ever. I’d say about an hour later a vamp comes I fight and dust. Figure YAY can now go hang out with Mr. Hottie. No…the gods hate me…turns out Mr. Hottie was something very ugly. It was this demon thing that ate people from the inside out. Well. The demon thing showed it’s face. I scream. I run. I trip. I fall and roll down some steps land on my watcher. Ended up staking his leg and he end up stabbing my arm. And then I begged him to go kill and I quote ‘The big scary thingy’….So there is my sad story.”
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Xander Harris
w a t c h e r
scooby member
Can I have you? Duh... Can I help you?
Posts: 63
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Post by Xander Harris on May 9, 2009 2:35:14 GMT 1
Xander chuckled at her comment and noticed the raised eyebrow when he mention Caleb. Xander was about to say who he was, when suddenly a ache where his eye once started to throb. Xander shook his and made weird face and started to explain. "Caleb was an evil Preacher who worked for the first evil." Xander sighed. "He was the fellow who gave me this permanent owwie." As Xander pointed to his patched eye.
Xander just smiled as she complained about his puppy eyes, before she continued on with the story. (Hahahaa! Buffy and Willow still can't resist them.) He couldn't help but just laugh and shake his head while she told the story. Xander really enjoyed this talk. It was always nice to make random friends with people who you can relate to. Even if he's not a slayer, he knew what kind of crap you have to go through. He lived through it all with Buffy, even if she didn't always live.
Xander looked at her with a confused look after he stopped his laughed. "So... did he slay it for you? Did you give them the puppy eyes? Or, did he send the poor slayer to do her job?" Xander questioned and tried to get a rise out of her.
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Phoenix Lange
s l a y e r
Can we get past your evil plan and just fight now? Your kind of boring
Posts: 53
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Post by Phoenix Lange on May 9, 2009 19:42:08 GMT 1
Phoenix nodded gently when he explained who Caleb was. She wanted to tell him how sorry he was and something else but she figured he’d heard it all. With the way she was acting right she was freaking herself out right now but…eh such is life as she always said. She also guessed that Caleb was now dead so Xander got some revenge.
Hearing him Phoenix raised an eyebrow. She laughed softly and rested the urge to playfully hit him in the shoulder. The last time she had done that she had broken the guys arm. Not her finest moment. “Yeah he made me go a slay it. Wasn’t pretty. I was pretty much trying not to touch it.” She did an example of how she was standing that night. Eyes closed, arms in front of her, body as far as she could get back. The sight didn’t really look pretty. It was more strange and funny looking. After a second she stood up straight and shrugged “I ended up killing it but after freaking out and screaming it was inside of me eating m….” she quickly replayed that in her head and stopped “After saying that it was killing me.” Her face suddenly got very very red.
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Xander Harris
w a t c h e r
scooby member
Can I have you? Duh... Can I help you?
Posts: 63
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Post by Xander Harris on May 10, 2009 14:36:13 GMT 1
Xander had a huge grin on his face during this story telling time. He felt comfortable being himself around this slayer. Well he was himself most of the time. That was the Xander way, the problem usually was not acting himself. There have been times when had to take things seriously and had to take charge. Especially now with this current situation, he was a key player. He was second in command to only Buffy. His whole life he was the donut guy, despite what his friends told him. He knew he had proven himself numerous times and made his worth. It was different now, he was the guy to come to for help. It felt good, but he didn't want to loose his Xanderness. Xander didn't want the power or the position to get to his head. He felt himself changing, he did not know if it as for the good or not. Xander decided that there would be times to be old Xander and there will be times to be grown up in charge Xander.
Xander noticed her blush when she finished her unusual , but hilarious story. "Look at this little Miss Army Girl got all disgusted with some some big bad icky monster, and then she turned all rosey red telling good old Xander." Xander said as he tried to pull her chain. The watcher couldn't help how cute the slayer looked as she turned red. No matter what Xander found himself attracted to slayers. He could not think of a slayer he wasn't attracted to one way or another. It was like his little thing, some guys liked blonds. Xander liked slayers, slayers were his blonds. He knew it was very weird, but he knew what slayer was his favorite. It was the same slayer who stole his heart nearly nine years before.
Xander zoned back in on Phoenix and smiled. "So, umm..Ummpa Lummpa girl, what do you call someone who is pale, ugly, and likes a specific bodily fluid?" Xander quickly rambled off.
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Phoenix Lange
s l a y e r
Can we get past your evil plan and just fight now? Your kind of boring
Posts: 53
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Post by Phoenix Lange on May 11, 2009 3:05:31 GMT 1
When she finished the story they walked in a comfortable silence for a while. When she really thought about it she loved it when she was like. She loved it when she was happy and not so full of hate like she normally was. It was like she was slowly getting back to her old self when she was happy like this. But she knew it wasn’t going to last. It never did and knowing that a frown played on her lips for a second. But she quickly pushed it away. She knew she’d have to worry about that later. Right now she would worry about the here and now. Nothing more and nothing less. When she looked over at Xander for a moment she laughed softly to herself. It was odd she was getting along with another human. It felt nice. Then again she guessed it was because he had been through some what of the same thing.
Phoenix cocked an eyebrow at his words. “ You know I’d smack you but me being all strong and all could probably break your arm and that wouldn’t be fun for either of us.” she laughed a bit but not much. “Besides it was really gross.” she rolled her eyes she felt like she was back in high school again. Oh high school. How she missed her friends and the long weekends she looked forward to. Now all she had to look forward to where vampires and evil things that could kill you. Where your life is shortened by 50 years and you’re not expected to live longer than 22 years old. But such was life this was the hand she was dealt so she was going to play the hell out of em.
“Ummpa Lummpa girl? Thanks….” when he asked his question she looked around as if expecting something to pop out of her. “ I’ll take vampire for five hundred John.”
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